Day 21 – Thursday (9/13/18)

It wasn’t until I was typing the date in the blog tonight that I realized it was 3 weeks ago today that this all started.  Crazy how time flies.

Have any fellow blog readers ever been to California?  Well, part of me has!  I found out today that my Blobby Biopsy made the trip without me.  He was shipped next day air on Tuesday to Stanford University, and arrived Wednesday afternoon.  He has a hotel room booked for up to a 2 week stay.  I personally think he just wanted to get away from Hurricane Florence.

Alright, so let me break this down.  The local pathologist was able to confirm, 100%, that Blobby is malignant.  He was able to mostly confirm (let’s say 80%), that Blobby is a Lymphoma.  He was NOT able to determine what type.  This is really all very similar news to what we already knew from the first biopsy.  However, the sample is good this time (no issues with necrotic tissue).  Knowing the needed expertise and technology was not available locally; the pathologist shipped Blobby off to Stanford.  It is my understanding that they are experts in this field, and should have no issue decoding the rest of Blobby.  Problem… They are experts in this field, and are in high demand.  The turn-around time is 7 – 10 business days.  This means we may not have final results until Wednesday, September 26th.

Anybody else like “what!?!”  Yeah, that is how I was.  The biggest question I had was understanding the risks of knowing I have a growing cancer inside my body, and waiting 2 more weeks before doing anything about it.  I was able to talk with my operating doctor (from the biopsy).  He explained to me that the risk of doing some kind of “pre-treatment”, or guessing which treatment to try… without knowing for sure what type of lymphoma we are dealing with… is very risky.  Waaayyy more risky than doing nothing.  Apparently, if you hit blobby with the wrong treatment for the wrong type, complications can and most likely will ensue.  He told me that if we were talking 3 months… as opposed to 2 weeks, the conversation may change.  He said waiting 2 weeks shouldn’t impact the success rate the treatment options should offer once they finally begin.

So, how do I deal with my emotions as I now realize that I have to simply keep living life like normal for another two weeks, knowing, 100% this time that I have cancer, and we can’t do anything about it yet?  By utilizing the wisdom of Philippians 4:6-7 (thanks pops for sending me this tonight) “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”  Further, I was provided a song (from a fellow blog reader) while I was typing the blog tonight.  I think I will make it my theme song over the next two weeks.  John Waller, “While I’m Waiting.”

Dear heavenly Father, I want to start by saying thank You for answering my hearts desire last night.  I simply needed a new timeline, and I was going to be good.  I stick by that Lord.  You provided me an update, and a new timeline, and I’m good.  I honestly have a greater peace now, knowing that I can’t and shouldn’t expect a phone call anytime soon.  I think that anticipation was the hard part.  Now there is no anticipation for the next 2 weeks, so maybe I’ll just be surprised one day if the results come back early.  I pray that You will be with the pathologists at Stanford and give them a clear, 100%, diagnosis.  I pray for the cousin’s nephew of a childhood friend of my wife (that may be a complicated lineage to us, but You know who I am talking about), whom I found out today is actually going through the exact same thing I am right now.  He is at the PET scan phase.  Please be with him and his family as they head through this process.  Thank You again for all of the friends and family You have surrounded me with during this time.  They are a true encouragement to me, as they send songs, scriptures, prayers, etc.  Please help me to come up with 2 more weeks’ worth of “thoughts of the day” that You would have me to publish on this blog.  You seem to always provide me with a thought just as I sit down to type.  I thank You for that Lord.  This is Your blog, not mine.  This cancer is not something that is being done to me, it is being done for You.  Please use me, please use this blog, in any way You see fit; that others may be encouraged, that they may grow their relationship with You, or that they may simply come to know who You are if they don’t know You already.  I will continue to patiently wait on You Lord.  Thank You for being in control of this situation.  Amen.