Day 20 – Wednesday (9/12/18)
Health Update: No change (sad emoji). I called the doctor again today, and they told me that there are still no results. They “suspected” that the samples had to be sent off for more in-depth testing. I really wasn’t pleased with this “lack of an answer”, so I called the doctor I had worked with on the first biopsy. I left a message for him, and asked if he could get in touch with the pathologist and tell me the actual status, as opposed to an assumption. If the sample had to be sent off, that is cool, but I’d like a new timing estimate. He didn’t call back, but this was late in the day. Maybe tomorrow. He was really helpful with giving me updates on the first biopsy.
Now, I’m trying to put myself in the other person’s shoes. In maintenance, we routinely work on broken machines. There is a troubleshooting/diagnosis phase (usually the longest phase), a repair phase, and finally a verification phase (to make sure the correct fix was applied). Often, machines don’t break at opportune times, and customer shipments can be jeopardized. Our schedulers first question to maintenance… “What is the ETA”? This question is one of the most difficult questions to answer, especially in the diagnosis phase. Until you know what you are dealing with, it is very hard to provide an estimate on when the issue will be resolved. There have been countless times when I have provided an optimistic, yet inaccurate timing estimate. Things happen, situations change. I simply have to go back to the scheduler, provide a new timeline, and do my best to beat it. This is really all I can ask of the doctors… please let me know what the complications are, and provide new timing. Hopefully I can get that information tomorrow.
Thought for the day: How to deal with disappointment. I’m not going to lie. Today I was disappointed. I had my hopes up for answers, and got nothing. Nonetheless, God is in control. These two scriptures really explain how to deal with disappointment much better than I can explain it. Isaiah 55:8-9 ““For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.”” Jeremiah 29:11-12 ”For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.”
Dear heavenly Father, thank You for reminding me that my ways… my timing… is not Your timing. Your ways are higher than my ways. You know the end from the beginning, and YOU know when I need results. Thank You for also reminding me that You want what is best for us. We may not understand at the time, but You do, and You are doing what we need. Finally, thank You for reminding me that all I have to do is pray, and You hear me. With that said, I am praying now, and I know You are listening. I respect Your timing God. Please use all the time that is needed to ensure that a proper diagnosis is reached, and a proper treatment plan is put in place. Rushing through the critical “diagnosing phase” can create many delays with returning “the machine” back to peak operating performance (to continue my maintenance analogy). Thank You God for being in control of everything. Thank You for helping me keep my spirits high throughout this process. Amen.