Sleeping last night was a bit of a challenge. It almost seems that the pain in my chest is worse when I’m lying down. Couple that with my mind still in high gear over everything that has happened, I seemed to only be able to sleep in 1 hour blocks. About 7:00am I gave up and went ahead and got up. Have you ever looked in a mirror with a mirror behind you also? If not, you should. It looks like you are heading into a vortex. It’s pretty cool. What you are about to read is the literary formulation of said mirror experiment. Once I woke up, I finalized this great idea I had to start a website documenting my upcoming journey. I sat down and typed out everything that had happened over the past few weeks, and started a website named “Blobby’s World”. Wait a second… I’m confused… So I am now writing about writing this blog? Vortex. You get the reflection.
Moving on, I spent most of the morning getting the website ready for unveiling. I then called and talked with my pastor to get him in the loop on everything going on. I sent out a brief summary on our prayer chain, and introduced this website. I shared the link with my family, friends, co-workers, etc so that everyone could come to one place if they wanted any updates or to know how things were going. I think deep in my heart, writing all of this down is really a way to help me think through and comprehend everything going on. But if I can say it’s for everyone else, I’ll use that excuse ;) I’m a man. I don’t journal… journaling is for high school girls… haha. (Seriously though guys, it’s not such a bad idea once you try it).
With most of the morning now gone, and my kids gone to my parent’s house, my wife and I were left to stare at each other in a quiet house. Whelp, that was fun. Moving on… “Let’s go get something to eat”. “Sure sounds good, where do you want to go?” “I don’t know, where do you want to go?” “Let’s go to Wendy’s.” “Nah, I don’t want to go there.” “Okay then, where do YOU want to go?” “I don’t know, where do you want to go?” ………… Looking back, staring at each other in a quiet house may have been the better option………… Let’s go get some Mexican food. Done. Time to get a burrito the size of my head. That should make me feel better!
After eating we went to a few stores. It was about 3:00pm and we were supposed to be to my parents by 4:00pm. Plenty of time. Then it hit me… Oh no! We were supposed to pick up some school supplies for two kids that our Sunday School class had found out needed help! Thursday, Friday… what day is today again? Yikes… Saturday. WalMart… on a Saturday… two days before school starts… to get school supplies? Oh what fun I could sense lied ahead. After zigging and zagging, climbing on top of empty shelves and looking beneath them, we managed to scrounge up the needed supplies on the list. Honestly, I’m kinda glad we didn’t plan ahead. Where would the adventure have been in that? (Eye roll…)
We made it to my parent’s house slightly late, but that didn’t stop us from celebrating my wife’s birthday (round 2). It was a joyous time of my hyper kids running around, being obnoxious, while we adults tried to discuss life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. “I’m sorry, say that again? I can’t hear you over the kids yelling.” You get the picture. And as if they were not hyper enough, bring on the cookies and ice cream! Have you ever seen a kid run around a driveway 15 times without ever touching the ground? Maybe you will see it on MythBusters one day, but I assure you, it can happen.
Back at our house, it was hard to believe that another day had passed. Maybe God was answering my prayer for patience last night in a unique way… by keeping me preoccupied so I didn’t realize time was passing.
Dear heavenly Father, I love you. I thank you for helping me have the strength today to stay busy and for time to pass quickly. While I want time to pass quickly, so I can find out my full diagnosis, please help me not to squander the time you have given me. Help me to make the most of everyday. Help me to look for ways that I can serve you, encourage others, and be the father and husband I ought to be. I pray for a good night’s rest tonight. I’m tired. But, I know that I can rest in your arms of love, grace, and mercy. I pray for the guest speaker we have at church tomorrow. I pray that he is able to rest well tonight, and that you would speak through him tomorrow and the congregation will hear the words you want us to hear. I thank you God for all that you do. I continue to anticipate and look forward to the moment you have the radiologist call to schedule my biopsy. In your time… and in your name Lord, amen.”